A Eulogy to the Lioness

I could not refrain myself from writing this. This day has indeed been heart-wrenching.

I do not remember the first time I had heard of Ms. J. Jayalalithaa. But I always found her appealing and it was not because of her beauty. Why did I like her? I can render a few probable reasons which led to have first impressions.

Maybe it was watching a parent being an ardent fan of that political party and its leaders; Maybe it was the political party channel playing all through the day in my living room TV; Maybe it was incessant movie marathon of Puratchi thalaivar MGR and Puratchi thalaivi Jayalalithaa; It could have been any of these or more. I never knew.

It took me all my childhood and teenage to realize that I like her. I have admired her eloquence in English and Tamil, watched her gait with the charm of a queen, observed the emotionally detached look in her face. She had this inexplicable charisma and composed manner.

Many a time, I have said this to my relatives and friends, ‘I do not know the ABC’s of politics, neither can I weigh the pros and cons of her administration. But I always respect for the lady she is’. Not many women (me included) could have achieved what she has, despite the humiliations and accusations. They would have hidden behind excuses. She never gave up on herself. There had been many political jokes on ‘falling on her feet’ culture. She might have demanded it or people might have started doing it out of fear and respect. Either way, I do not appreciate it, but it does not happen to all the women in politics. She had everyone spring into action at the flick of her magic wand.  

When I heard about the fake news of her death, it took me sometime for the reality to set in. I shuddered at the realization that she is no more. Why should I? I just like her like any another famous personality. That should not affect me. No, I do not just like her. It is something more.

She was good at what she was doing, a paragon of administration and a leadership. Deep in my heart, I believe that she will be the guiding light to many more individuals.

From what I hear, she entered the movie industry and politics out of compulsion. If she had excelled in fields which she was forced to be in, what could have happened if she had pursued her interests. The world will never know.

Ma’am, your accomplishments are many and there are common people crying at your feet paying their last respects. Though you didn’t have an immediate family, many call you ‘Amma’. And that is your biggest accomplishment.

May you Rest In Peace!!

Let Her Be!!

She is in love – I wonder if she is a girl of good character!!

She had a recent break-up – I wonder if she cheated!!

She is in love again – OMG! There she goes again. I wonder how long this is going to last!!

She is getting married too early – Maybe she did something inappropriate that her parents want to get her married soon!!

She is 30 and still unmarried – I wonder why no one wants to marry her!!

She is married for 5 years and had no kids – I wonder if she has a problem!!

     Above thoughts sound vaguely familiar? I sure have heard them. Truth is, men are not under scrutiny as much as women in our society. People constantly wonder what is wrong with her. And this happens mostly outside the immediate family or friends. What do we know about her? Do we even have a clue of what she wants in life? Do we know if she is unhappy of what she is? Why do people set goals for a girl’s life in our society? And what’s with all these awkward questions? Do we even know how embarrassing she feels with all those questions? She has to dodge all of them with an inconvenient smile.

     Most of these people say, ‘I can understand what she is going through.’ Really? Sadly, women are the one who mostly gossip about other women. I honestly believe people can only sympathize. Empathy is too far-fetched. No one can ever understand a situation like another individual.

     Maybe you have the right to judge if her decisions directly impact you. Oh wait! Do you have the right? Let her live her own life. She might reap goodness out of her decisions or not. At least it is she who has taken the decision and not the mouth-piece of someone’s brain.

     For those who are hurting inside by these questions and gossips – There is no such thing as how to fall in love or age to get married or by when you should have kids. Stay Strong! Do things the way you want to and when you want to. People who care for you, won’t judge you and those who judge, never mind them. Live your life on your terms.

     I am no saint. So finally, if I have ever judged a woman in my walk of life, I really want to apologize and pledge to never judge again. Sorry ladies!!

FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL ‘WONDERING’ ABOUT HER LIFE - Let her be!!!

My Herculean Feat

         Have you ever made a strong decision and felt dilemma half-way through the process of fulfilling it? I did have such an experience recently.
         When I got to know about Ahobilam through my husband, I was more than thrilled and eventually made a very reckless decision. Before going into the details of the decision, I should brief everyone about background on Ahobilam.
         Ahobilam is like the headquarters of Lord Narasimha - you know, the 4th avatar in Dasavatharam. Hindu mythology says that the legendary story is associated with this place and is also known for its trekking, as all the shrines are located in different parts of the mountain range. There is this place called Ugrastambha which is said to be the most dangerous and tricky part of the pilgrimage.
         We started planning this trip and I was determined to visit all the shrines and places listed down as to-be-visited. My husband was unsettling to the idea of taking me to Ugrastambha. I am not always a strong-hearted person and when it comes to decision making, my mind has wavered like a pendulum many a time. Sometimes, I can be this stubborn jerk. Even after reading about the hardships that one has to face, I stood by my resolution of going to Ugrastambha, while my husband tried to talk me out of it. That was of no use, of course. 
         It was my husband's birthday and he was very excited to have a different sort of celebration. We - My husband, brother-in-law and myself- started our day around 8.30 in the morning towards the Jwala Narasimha shrine. It was also the best way of covering the maximum number of shrines on that day before nightfall. We had a group of tourists from Chennai and some monkeys to keep us company. The path leading to the shrine was a river bed with loads of gigantic rocks and streams. This track is closed down during the monsoon as it will be flooded. Walking through these rocks was the only fun part of the whole day.

River Bed

Rocky Path

           After a half hour travel, there were some stairs which started to give me some serious cardio exercises. By the time I reached the final flight of stairs I was drained out of energy. I thought we had walked for hours and it must be noon. Would you believe it? It was JUST ONE HOUR since we started walking!!! 
           After the Jwala Narasimha darshan I was half-hearted to go to Ugrastambha. This time it was my husband who said, 'I AM going to take you there and safely bring you back.'. That gave me a boost. Giggling like a girl I started off and came to the starting point of the greatest trek I ever had. It was 10 AM. The below photo was taken after we started climbing and the red circle is entrance. You can see the vertical inclination of the climb from the starting point. But this was comparatively easy climb as we had the rocks to support on the sides and no valleys to fall into.

Starting point marked in red

          The entire distance to Ugrastambha is said to be approx 1 km. We were the only 3 in that place. We climbed following the arrow marks drawn on the rocks.  After sometime the path opened into open hilly area. The narrow stretch was just 2 feet wide with either boulders or wild plants on the sides. The path was filled with rubbles and bigger stones. Every foot had to be very calculative - A single misstep, you could be going down the valley head down. I was certainly not dressed for the occasion, especially, I was wearing daily wear sandals. I was moving backward in the chart of evolution and walking on four legs like our primate ancestors. If not, I would have been taking the risk of sliding down. But that's just me.
           I have the fear of falling from great heights. So, I did not glimpse back at the path we came by. If I did, I would have had all the possible ways of falling down running through my mind. That's me again!! It was about an hour and half and no sign of the mountain top. When we started our day, we had packed ourselves a good supply of water and snacks in a big shoppe bag. That invited us the trouble most of the time. Monkeys targeting the bag, my husband chasing them away - we did have entertainment. One monkey caught hold of the stick my husband had and wouldn't let it go. At one point, it threw away the stick and sat just a metre away from us. That was enough for me. I started shrieking at top of my voice. After some efforts, we got rid of the monkeys for the time being.
            Do you remember the question I asked at the beginning of the post? Have you ever made a strong decision and felt dilemma half-way through the process of fulfilling it? This is when I started questioning myself if we will be going back to our room safely because I could neither see the destination in near future nor could we go back the way we came. The climb down the hill seemed even more scarier. We saw some guys were coming down the hill. They had visited the peak and were returning. They said that uphill was easy than downhill. Here goes my monkey mind again. Oh man! Did I just do the stupidest thing in my life. It was like we were stuck in the middle of nowhere. I certainly did not have the energy to climb. We sat down on one of the rocks and wondering what to do. It was almost noon.

The narrow stretch on the mountain

              Sometimes life gives you hopes to move on when you don't have any. All right! I am not talking philosophy here. There were 2 things happened. I saw two women climbing down - A woman of about 40 years of age and another about 15 years old. They had gone up alone and were returning. I thought, ' Maybe I can do this.' Five minutes later we saw an old lady returning on bare foot - WTH!!! Is this the stage where I start seeing illusions? She must be at least 60 years old. She told us she has been on this for past 10 years. My eyes had gone wide with admiration and made my jaws drop. Man, was I impressed!! 
               Like you guessed, we started uphill again. The last stretch was tough and we reached a point where there was no way you could turn back (I need not say, when we took breaks, there were several other groups who passed by.) They seemed to be doing this for several years together. Brushing away the nuisances by the monkeys, by 12.30 we reached the peak of the mountain.
               The view from the top of the mountain was exhilarating. The hilltop was about 10 feet wide. It was not rocky and could give you the vertigo. There was bridge-like structure to hold on, to cross over to other side of the mountain. Holy God! That was scary!!! There was still some distance to reach a point where there is a shrine-like arrangement. The monkey problem was more here. You can see the shrine from the mountain top in the below picture.

Ugrastambha

           We have metal ladders to go down and there was one guy who does the pooja. There is nothing beyond that point. Oddly enough, we had full signal in our mobile phones.
           We took a break and munched snacks in a battered shack on the peak. We were recharged a bit and started downhill. Certainly, the way down was even more trickier and scarier. The rubbles were slippery and if we are incautious, it can give us free skating classes. I couldn't move much and looked helpless. Then came my hubby to rescue the damsel in distress. I had to hold his shoulders and literally follow his footsteps like a baby using a wooden walker. This continued till the end of the journey. We were soooooo slow, that two men went up and returned before we could go a few metres down. For me, this was equivalent to climbing the Everest. When we reached the starting point I was bubbling with pride. Yaayyy, I did it!! (or should I say, I was made to do it?!!). Thanks to my dear husband and brother-in-law.
            You should have seen us then. We were covered in twigs, mud and profusely sweating and starving. We had to return via the same river bed and I was already limping. The gentlemen helped the battered me walk all the way back to our car park. 
             I don't know if I would be visiting Ahobilam any sooner and this might not have been a perfect trekking. But it definitely one of my memory that I would be talking for years to come. It was exciting, scary, tiresome.. I can keep on adding adjectives to this list. If it had not been for my husband I would have never done such a task. Special credits to him!! 😍😍😍. Now I will never regret about my reckless decision.


P.S. - Me, unable to move an inch without whining about the body pain and walking with a limp for next five days is entirely another story.

Lost!!!

A recent incident took me to the memory lane when I was in class 3. It was same as any other school day until things went topsy-turvy. I was waiting for the van at the pick-up point with my grandma. The van was late and I was almost in tears assuming I have missed the van. I still remember, it was a light green van. Then came along a green van - except that it was dark green and it stopped beside me. I noticed that there were kids in the van with same uniform as mine but not my usual van mates. My conversation with the driver went like this.

Driver - "Are you from Frank Antony Junior School?"

My mind voice - Students from class 6 and above are called seniors. I am in class 3, so I am a junior. (I had just learnt the difference between senior and junior and hence I was trying to be too smart with the logical thinking)

Me - "Yes uncle, Junior."

Driver - "Get in."

My grandma was observing the whole thing and let me do the speaking. I hopped into the van and was relieved that I won't be late for school. As I was looking out the window, I realized that it was not the usual route to the school.

My mind voice - " Come on, this is a different van and obviously different route to my school"

Eventually, the van entered the school building. SURPRISE ! SURPRISE! Turns out there is another school by same name - my school was Frank Antony Public School and I arrived to Frank Antony Junior School.

Now I literally started to weep. Once the prayer assembly got over, I went to a teacher and began my wailing. She started looking into the school diary for a contact number. Unfortunately, we didn't have a telephone at home or with our neighbors. My dad's office contact was also not there in my emergency details. 

My mind voice - " I am doomed! I am not going to see my parents or friends again!"

Luckily, one of the staff from this school volunteered to drop me at my school. That was my first bike ride ever. When I reached my school, my mom and grandma were there. It looks like my grandma had told mom that the van was different. Mom got her suspicions and both of them had come to school to check if I had reached safely. My mom was trying to make my Anglo Indian teachers understand with her broken English that I am missing. (My teachers could understand only English or Kannada and parents-teachers meet has always been a pain for my mom). Back to the scene. Once she saw me entering the school my mom came running and cried and my grandma carried me all the way to classroom.

   When I think about it now, I feel stupid that I have tried to be smart and ended up myself and my family in a mess. But at least I have a mini-adventure to talk about.

HOLA, AMIGOS!!

Finally, here I am, creating my own blog, contemplating over the inhibitions in my mind. Can a person who reads a lot write a decent blog? This blog should answer that.

Why quirky? – To me, every person I meet, is quirky. Why should I not be one?

Before I created this post, I wasted almost a day wondering what should I write about. I have no idea till now. Being 'Jack of no trade', I will be writing half-baked thoughts about anything that crosses my mind as 'bloggable' - everything under the Sun and beyond.

Now, let’s venture into this world of quirkiness!!

Adiós!!